I’m on fire today! I must confess that wasn’t the case a few weeks ago when my birthday did its usual annual thing by appearing on the calendar and instead of congratulating myself on surviving yet another year, I momentarily turned to despair. Where had all those years gone? What had I achieved in all of those many years? It was not helping that my daughter-in-law was enduring the exercise of working in an aged care facility and there were a number of people younger than I in various stages of decay. Some of her stories were challenging and I began to wonder what my future looked like. I hadn’t done that before.
So, it was time to take stock. My time left in this mortal existence is surely diminishing but I still have plenty of get up and go. My kids tease me when I forget things but I now know that is not because there is a loss of brain cells – my brain has been going flat out for many years and it is just getting very full.
Yes, sometimes I ache in the mornings but that soon goes as I move about. I’m back at Yoga after a long break, and although I am not going to graduate to the advanced class any time soon, I am quite surprised at how flexible I am becoming. I’ve learnt to accept that with some poses there tends to be more emissions of air that I don’t bother to apologise for anymore, but on the whole, I am feeling much better.
I love my early practice of sitting up in bed and being grateful for the trees outside and the birds paying their early morning visit. All in all, I am grateful for my Pollyanna approach to life. I know that optimists drive pessimists mad, but I would rather look on the bright side than be miserable every day. I rather agree with that old philosopher Seneca who stated, “If it is not in your control, why worry? We suffer more from imagination than reality.”
The best thing of all about age is that you come to realise that along with all the rotten things that happen in life, there will always be splendiferous, amazing things that can happen if we allow them to. Maybe some people are more comfortable being miserable. I believe it is a choice.
Anyway, when I rid myself from my unaccustomed feelings of despair, magical things began to happen. I met with gorgeous Gwen who is keen to help me organise a book launch in a lovely café. I am going to Tenterfield next week to work out a book launch there following a recent, great article about the book in the Tenterfield Star.
I love being creative and am embracing an opportunity to put together some children’s environmental books using my friend Garry’s beautiful bird paintings. We plan to do other creative works together which will express who we truly are. I have spent much of my life caring too much about what others think of me, but in the past few years I have come to realise that there are those who disapprove of me and it won’t matter a jot if I create something that might seriously shock them.
Yesterday I met with women who have absolutely set me on fire. Mandy Nolan is a woman I admire so much. She has the courage to put herself out there in a manner that some would find shocking. She has the comedic gift to present raw truths in a way that makes us laugh. Christa Hughes is a singer who is also someone who dares to be out there. I went to a concert in Melbourne some years ago where she performed with her father Dick Hughes, a noted jazz musician and loved her work. These women have big hearts, loads of talent and are not afraid to accept that there will be some who are shocked by what they do. When I spoke to them about what I intend to do in the coming year, they informed me that this is now my time to let go any concern of what anyone will think. They are incredibly supportive and gave me lots of ideas which will be very helpful. My plan will unveil over the coming year and I’m so excited. I’m assuring my beautiful daughter in law that I will not be joining any of her tribe at the nursing home any time soon.